“101 Simple Truths For A Better Life” Humble The Poet (38) “HEARTBREAKS ARE ESSENTIAL”

 

You’re feeling worthless, alone and scared.  Everything you knew, everything you wanted, and everything you understood, has been pulled out from under you.  It is important to note that the heart doesn’t break the same way twice.  I’ve had my heart broken by friends but up to today, fortunately not by family.  Some of you reading this have, betrayal sucks big time.  “A broken heart is an injury on the inside, and with an injury, there’s only so much you can do.  You’re mostly at the mercy of time.  Time heals all, time reveals all, and it doesn’t work on your schedule.  During this time, life feels intense, difficult to bear, and sometimes even hopeless.

Some insight by Humble The Poet can be found below.  They are some of his most important realizations and experiences when dealing with heartbreak but I wanted to include them as I personally can relate to a lot if it and I’m certain you will too.

- Your heart is an organ, and it’s not broken, but the stress you’re going through (combined with a lack of sleep, and poor life choices) can seriously harm your health. Make healthy decisions. Drinking may appear numb the pain, but it’s really depressant, and a dangerous addiction + dependence can develop. My mother lost a brother to alcohol after his divorce. Alcohol and heartbreak don’t mix. 

- Even if you were dumped, cheated on, or worse, realize relationships end because of a mismatch in compatibility & priorities, whether y'all realize it or not. Never mistake incompatibility for your personal worth. If someone dumped you, it’s because there wasn’t a fit, or you weren’t taking them where they think wanted to go. Even if they tell you you’re worthless, you’re not, even if you feel worthless your not. Your personal worth is determined by yourself, never allow it to be dictated by another. If you can’t love yourself, you have no business seeking love from others. 

- To be betrayed means, someone didn’t live up to their end of the bargain. That bargain may have been assumed, or explicit. Either way, promises are broken every day, ignoring this fact is the reason the broken promise stings so much. Expectations are the key ingredient to disappointment; the less you expect from others, the less they can let you down.

- As much as your mind may say differently, all you have is NOW. Yesterday doesn’t exist, the future can only be assumed. NOW is all you have, and its what you need to focus on. We feel scared and confused when our plans are derailed. The truth is that uncertainty is the most realistic depiction of your future, get used to it. Change is not the enemy; it’s the only consistency in your life. Focus on adapting.

- Happiness isn’t what happens to you, it’s how you deal with it. Again, this is easier said than done, but you’re better off to even try to gain some control on deciding your emotions. We all have plenty to celebrate in our life, you can focus what you have, or what you lost.. that focus is a choice, the emotions that come with that focus on the consequence of the choice you make

- Unhappiness is when the picture in your head doesn’t match the picture of your life. When you were a kid, and wanted that toy, and mom said no, then dragged you out the store, you were heart broken. Maybe even so mad you didn’t speak to her for a while, but you got over it. As you grow, you experiences will just be amplified versions of that story: You’re not getting what you want. Some things are in your control, some are not. You need to meditate on what you can remedy, and what you can’t. The things you can’t, work to move on from. 

- Comparison is the thief of joy. Who gives a f*ck how many of your friends are in relationships. 

- Finally… realize that everything you go through in life is temporary, including your life as a whole. In the grand scheme of things, you’ll look back at these events and realize how little they matter.  Harming yourself, or worse, can lead to PERMANENT problems. To be helpless is to feel like your drowning, and the pain is deep, sickening, and it feels like there’s no end in sight. PLEASE REMEMBER: with any problem you’ve had in your life history… time will help you adapt to the change and move forward. If the stress and pain is too much to deal with, seek PROFESSIONAL help. Your loved ones may have the best intentions, but they may not have the skill set to help you through what you’re going through. Emotions are related to chemicals in your brain, we’re all unique in our composition; it’s ok if you need to seek additional support to get over what you’re going through. I love you for the simple fact that you take the time to read my thoughts, so please remember that you’re not alone, and you don’t have to go through it alone. There are people who want to help, who know how to help. 

The butterfly has to struggle in the cocoon to break out. If you were help it by cutting the cocoon open, it wouldn’t develop the necessary muscles to fly. Its beauty comes from its struggles, and so does yours, heartbreak, like any other struggle is essential for your growth.

“Heartbreak, like any other struggle, is essential for your growth.”