Rebirth & Recovery

 

 

 

  “Either pray or worry - - don’t do both.” ~ 50 Cent Regardless of your spiritual inclinations, this quote hits a note.  It comes down to your need for control; our need to understand and make sense of things; and our need to NEED.  Our minds are dramatically more complex than other life forms, but that’s not necessarily always a good thing. “We internalize things more and manufacture suffering.  No animals are worried about what time it is, or being late, or even running out of time.   Animals only experience fear in the present, and that fear is what they use to get out of danger.  Our fears plant seeds in our brain to grow into things we have yet to experience or finished experiencing a long time ago.  For reasons like this, we’ve done wonders in the field of suffering.”  We unfortunately don’t have a pill option for this.  Worry exists in the future, and like depression of the past, it can spiral out of control very quickly.  The an...

 

 

 

 

  You’re feeling worthless, alone and scared.  Everything you knew, everything you wanted, and everything you understood, has been pulled out from under you.  It is important to note that the heart doesn’t break the same way twice.  I’ve had my heart broken by friends but up to today, fortunately not by family.  Some of you reading this have, betrayal sucks big time.  “A broken heart is an injury on the inside, and with an injury, there’s only so much you can do.  You’re mostly at the mercy of time.  Time heals all, time reveals all, and it doesn’t work on your schedule.  During this time, life feels intense, difficult to bear, and sometimes even hopeless. Some insight by Humble The Poet can be found below.  They are some of his most important realizations and experiences when dealing with heartbreak but I wanted to include them as I personally can relate to a lot if it and I’m certain you will too. - Your heart is an organ, and it’s not...

 

  Sometimes believe it or not, happiness doesn’t need to be achieved, we just have to make room for it.  Our minds can be full of anxiety, regret, resentment, and worry that there’s no room for smiles.  “Some people believe that what’s happening to them determines their happiness, but the reality is, how they deal with those things determines how they feel.” Today is a very close ex-work colleague and great friends 50th birthday (Happy Birthday Madame Ji).  We always had this inside joke of always looking great from the outside, but no one ever knew what was truly happening in our insides.  I wished her all the best on WhatsApp and also told her that this year will be her best year yet.  I said that she will realize life is not a race, it is a wonderful prize, and she will and should start slowing down and begin to cherish even the quirky moments that once seemed garish.  Enjoy the little things in life for one day you’ll look back and realize they wer...

 

  Scratches and bruises add character.  They give your heart a better look and feel.  It can be a tough time, and it will be a tough time, but you just like me will come out a better person, I promise that.  Try not to stay in a situation your heart left a long time ago, it will only continually defeat your heart, not help it grow. “Defining yourself is basically the idea of knowing who you are, what you stand for, what your identity is, what rules you stand by, and so on. This could be morals you live by, what you define as integrity, how important your word is to you, what you consider to be good and bad things, your beliefs and more.” “Don’t avoid the potential of a broken heart, you have the necessary tools to survive and blossom from it.”

 

  Beliefs are simply opinions that we don’t particularly want to reevaluate.  The may pertain to our favourite sports teams (Miami Dolphins for me), political ideologies, spiritual philosophies, or simply the way we govern our lives.  “People take pride in their beliefs, as if having a particular belief is an accomplishment of some sort.  This is an interesting idea because once pride enters the ring; folks then relate their beliefs to their identity.”   The stronger the belief, the more we tend to dig in and the less pleasant it is to hear anything that doesn’t support that thought.  “We are bound to facts, but we HOLD beliefs.  Sometimes we can get in so deep with our beliefs we forget where we end and the belief begins.”  Many of my beliefs were handed down to me and I never owned them in the first place.  I did however feel threatened by anyone who didn’t share them because I simply began to believe that they were a part of me.  I al...

 

  Wanting to help someone doesn’t require you to establish an organization, it doesn’t require an endorsement or social media validation.  It only requires you to get up and start helping.  There is no application process and in the famous words of Nike, “Just Do It!”.  “Helping isn’t simply donating.  For some, it can be raising awareness; for others it can be attending a protest, or getting your hands dirty on the front line.  Everyone has their own definition of what it means to help, and that’s OK.  The myriad of tasks all makes an impact.” Some of us want to help save the rainforest while others want to ensure children have clean drinking water.  Some of us want to help save the whales while others want to end violence against women.  The bottom line is merely this, whatever cause touches you, do it up.  And no, it doesn’t have to stop there.  I love helping my family and friends whenever and wherever I possibly can, even at ba...

 

 

  We all want it now, if not yesterday.  “Entitlement is a key word here.  Modern advances have brought us things so rapidly that our patience is shot.”  It’s soon to be a new year, and with that comes resolutions for a lot of us.  Typically topping the charts will be weight loss, but here’s the secret that I’ve personally come to realize.  It’s going to take a lot of hard work to see results.  It tends to be easy to understand, not easy to do trust me here.  “Things take time, and if you don’t have the patience to let things slow cook and form then expect a life continually unfulfilled.  It took time to learn how to walk, heal from the first heartbreak, finish school, or accomplish anything else worth accomplishing.  Get started and chip away, lick is nothing more than preparation and opportunity.  We all have the ability of greatness in us, and can train those muscles so we can see what our real potential is.” Let us continue to d...

 

 

  We can’t and will never be ourselves if we don’t know ourselves, and we can’t know ourselves, if all we know about who we are, is in comparison to others.  We will never know all the problems and stresses that others are going through and some would argue nor do we need to.  My personality type doesn’t always allow this, and to be quite frank, I don’t want to.  I like being a person that people feel comfortable talking to, confiding in, and love helping others whenever and wherever I possibly can.  This doesn’t mean that this is where all my time goes to, it’s vital at the same time to constantly be exploring who we are, especially on the inside. No one is saying it’s ever easy, nothing is.  We constantly see others around us doing amazing things, and it has been culturally engrained into us to try to keep up.  I call total BS here, sorry.  There is nothing to keep up with, and no one person to keep up with.  “Instead of comparing yourself ...

 

 

  Ignorance = I DON’T KNOW Apathy = I DON’T CARE Ignorance’ is a  state  of being or condition meaning not having knowledge or lacking in understanding. It results from a deficiency in education. For example: The man blamed his mistake on ignorance. It is directly related to ‘ignorant’, which means being unaware or uneducated. For example: He was ignorant of the traffic laws, so he unknowingly broke them. ‘Ignorance’ is generally used to describe a person that makes a mistake or causes a problem caused by not knowing something. It is in effect, an intellectual deficiency. ‘Apathy’ is a  state  of being or condition that means not having interest or emotion about something. It can also be said that an apathetic person is indifferent or insensible. It usually is used in a negative connotation. For example: The teacher was saddened by the student’s apathy for learning. An apathetic person, or a person possessing apathy is not necessarily ignorant, they simply don’t...

 

 

  The feeling of a cozy, soft pillow.  The feeling of not wanting to leave bed in the morning when the alarm goes off and just wanting to stay wrapped under the warm blanket.  But then reality sets in, you must part ways to start the days adventures.  “The relationship to our pillow is really no different to the many other relationships we have in our lives.  We call this our comfort zone, and like our pillow, there isn’t much to benefit from remaining in our comfort zone as the world keeps turning.” Our relationships with others can be based primarily on how they make us feel about ourselves.  The comfort of hearing what we want will always be there.  We humans tend to find comfort in deception due to its simplicity.  “The truth is rarely simple, and generally deals with 10 different shades of grey.  All our minds want to hear is the black and white version.  The truth can be complex, complete isn’t comforting, so dumb it down, package ...

 

 

  I don’t know the specifics of your circumstances or situations, what I do know is you get to decide what you want to focus on.  It’s very easy to only focus on all the things not going according to plan, or what is not meeting our personal expectations, trust me I know, I tend to do this majority of the time.  It’s a conscious choice I make and I am learning each day how to stop wasting valuable time and calories being miserable.  “When we make such a decision, our mood can snowball into a dark place, and all of a sudden all other pain begins to amplify as well.  It’s what’s commonly referred to as a downward spiral .” Me and you both need to make a conscious decision to be happy, and yes it may require work, doesn’t everything else already?  Start with something simple, you’re breathing.  “People who focus on things they’re thankful for will generally be happier.  This process can begin with a list of everything you’re grateful for and you can ...

 

  “There’s a popular saying that when a bird sits on a branch they don’t depend on the branch not to snap, but rather depend on their own wings to keep them safe.”  The reality is most of our lives are out of our control, our dependence should be on ourselves at all times.  None of us can control each and every one of our circumstances, what we can control however is our efforts.  Put faith in your wings, train them daily and be consistent, trust me that they will become stronger and more resistant with time.  “We sometimes get so caught up worrying about the branches snapping, and we lose sight of our abilities to adapt to such circumstances and come out OK if it actually occurs.” I’ve lacked trusting my wings big time.  I have not had faith in them.  What I have learnt however and continue to learn each and every day is this; we must have faith in ourselves and our abilities to deal with whatever challenges will come our way, then only will we be abl...

 

  We’re all unique, so what’s the point of always sticking to or searching for those that look like us, act like us, talk like us, and even walk like us?  “Relationships aren’t successful based on common interests.  They’re successful when they’re based on common priorities.  If your priority is to learn and grow, your potential pool of experiences grows exponentially.” Don’t mind standing out, don’t always avoid discomfort.  Let folks stare, do you really care?  Nobody knows ‘you’ better than yourself , stick to your morals at all times.  “Get out there.  Be uncomfortable.  Make mistakes.  Get embarrassed.  We’ll all be dead soon, it’s not a big deal.” What’s your biggest obstacle in overcoming your fears?

 

 

  “A lot of people who don’t have money either worship it or downplay its value.  Some of those who do have it in abundance either take it for granted or use it as their scorecard to move ahead in life.”  The bottom line is this, money is a tool and resource.  We want resources, we need them.  But how much money or resources are enough?  Will we have enough to retire comfortably and pay off all our outstanding debts?  Each person will have a different answer to this question, and yes including me.  Money is what we make it and it is quite often been said that it is the root of all evil.  I always recall stories my dad used to tell me surrounding money, teaching me the value of it at bare minimum.  I remember him painting a scenario of winning the lottery and saying if that ever happened, don’t be alarmed and surprised when you start receiving random calls from family and friends who you have not spoken to in years.  Money makes peop...

 

  In Sikhi, there’s a concept of Hukum.  Hukam means order: that is God’s order.  By God’s order all forms came into existence.  The Divine Will is responsible for the creation, sustenance and dissolution of man and the universe.  Whatever happens is by his will.  Hukam takes the form of natural laws or universe axioms.  All the parts of the universe are under his control.  According to Sikhism, true happiness is attained by accepting and submitting to the Divine Will. “Don’t submit to the wind nor complain and fight it.  Rather, adjust to it.  You can only adjust to the wind if you understand it.  Learn as much as you can about the ‘real’ world and the mechanisms that govern it; that will best prepare you to adapt and maneuver in life to achieve what you want.”  Before we can concern ourself with how you want it to be, we have to understand how it is.  This can’t be taught to you, it has to be experienced and explored. ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  Like most people probably reading this, I don’t know you, or at minimum on a true personal level.  What I can guarantee however is this.  You like myself have aspirations.  Getting a new place, making rent, owning a new car, and finally going on that dream vacation.  Whatever the aspirations are, the specifics and the entire actual dream is pointless if we don’t plan on pulling the trigger and making it happen.  We can all talk the talk, but can we walk the walk? “We can do an awesome job sabotaging ourselves with excuses and reasons not to make things happen.  Sometimes we trick ourselves into thinking we’re going to make it happen soon.  Soon being starting tomorrow, next week, next month, once my kids are grown.  These abstract moments never arrive, but we feel like they will.”  In my experience so far on this life journey, one thing I’ve come to realize is we just need to shut up and start.  No procrastinations, just get start...